I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
