On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
