well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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