It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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