9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
