I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize