would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
