right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
