He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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