Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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