So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
