I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
