That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
