I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
