community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
