Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
