i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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