Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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