She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
