If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
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If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
