he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
