im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
