Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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