Tell her she can't have a vagina
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
