9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
