i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
