She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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