Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
