I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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