i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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