The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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