Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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