My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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