Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
