She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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