apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
