Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
