are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
