omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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