I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
