my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Panties = found
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
