She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
