you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
