thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
