How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
