i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
