In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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