i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh god it's open bar.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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