Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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