im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
