I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
