threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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