people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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